Hey… I know why you’re here, and I hope I have some answers for you.
Imagine, if you will, graduating from college at 20 and still being a virgin and clueless about life. This is how my movie script begins.
I was the studious Asian kid who followed all the rules. Private college tuition was expensive, and I knew that I needed to get good grades and get a job to repay my dad for all the money he’s invested into me. While I have no regrets about my father’s love, both emotionally and financially, I did have many regrets about girls and how no one, even my dad, ever taught me how to attract women.
My brother and I moved around a lot growing up. 4 Continents over 15 years. Because of this, I learned very quickly to observe people and make quick friends. To me, making friends was a survival skill. I remember looking out the airplane with my little brother and wondering, "Will I ever see my best friend again?"
I’ve always loved people. Ever since I was little in kindergarten, I would go play with the girls and boys in my class at recess in their little cubes
So when I graduated from college, I was socially adept at making friends, however I was terrible with women. I was paralyzed by fear and I used pride and ego to hide my insecurities. This meme exemplifies me at 20 on my graduation day:
From 20 to 23, I worked a a high profile management consulting job in New York. I thought I had all the tools I needed: a great job, apartment, and car. Where were all the hotties that were promised to me if I followed all of society’s rules?!?
I was never a pessimistic person, but I started to feel dejected as more and more girls rejected me for no "apparent" reason. I would go up to a girl and say hello, and she would tell me she has a boyfriend. I realized that this was a problem I needed to fix, ASAP. I remember the first number I ever got from a girl I didn’t know from any social circle. She was a beautiful Texas blonde. When I called her, there was no reply. I left 3 voicemails in a week. Finally she called back, and I picked up with excitement. It was a guy on the line, “hey man, you are creeping her out. Please stop“.
I remember sitting on my living room couch during this call. My roommate was with his hot girlfriend in his room, and I sat there for 20 minutes. I realized something needed to change, I just didn’t know how to go about it.
Since then, I have been on this hero’s journey with how to attract women and how to make great friends... I traveled for a while in pursuit of this goal. I've traveled to distant lands and met girls who didn't even speak the same language. I went from a complete dork to dating models from fashion week, and going to festivals and meeting all sorts of different, beautiful people.
On Social Interactions...
During our travels, my brother and I were bullied at different occasions. Going from one country to another wasn't easy - sometimes we met cool kids, other times, we did not. Because we didn't grow up there, we faced many obstacles with the bully kids.
The experience of being bullied, and how social interactions can change from one country to another, made me very obsessed with understanding social interactions at an early age.
How could we be so cool in one country, then complete losers in another? What conditions are in place to make these judgement? How does social value really work within a social circle of kids, or adults for that matter?
This is my life's obsession, and whenever I am helping someone figure out a problem they have, it usually has to do with the people in their lives.
Journey To Getting Good (Short Version)
The decision to gain social mastery started in San Francisco in 2007. I met a guy named Bob. Bob told me about these books he was reading, and I thought nothing of it. A few weeks later I bought some of the books he recommended. Tony Robbins. The Game. Jim Rohn. Robert Kiyosaki. I immediately became hooked on his thing called "self development". It was as if everything I had thought about prior to this point in my life is now being whispered through the words in these books.
I remember in the first 30 days, I met my first girlfriend. She was a beautiful brunette from Kansas city. How I got her is still a mystery to me today, but I think my youthful enthusiasm seeped through all of my interactions and in my mind, there was just no way I could fail.
We dated for a year and things were great, but never very deep. Since then, I have traveled a path of learning about social relationships whenever I am single (I choose to be in relationships if I want to). My path has led me to learn many different types of interactions: meeting women aa nightclubs, during the day, at the beach, at the mall, building a social circle, and I’ve had to privilege to interview some of the best in our industry.
As of this writing, I have the power to walk out downtown any Friday, Saturday or Sunday night. Usually I am with a friend or wing, but even if I was alone, I no longer feel fear. I know I can meet someone I fancy and start up an interaction with her that provides good emotions for both her and I, and see where we end up.
More importantly, I can make new friends! Genuine, authentic friends to travel with me on this beautiful journey we call life.
And I'd like to share that skill with you, through High Integrity Skills.